Amusement in Everyday Life

I have seen so many people do and say so many amusing, odd, and/or unexpected things in courtrooms that you’d think I wouldn’t be shocked or entertained anymore.  Thankfully, the fun-factor associated with that has not yet worn off, even after 13 (sometimes very long) years.  (Hey, one has to find ones amusement where she can!)
Several years ago when I was a deputy prosecutor, I observed a young woman attempt to get herself out of going to jail by “fainting” in the courtroom.  It was quite spectacular and dramatic.  She locked her entire body and fell over timber-style.  She was fortunate she wasn’t standing an inch or two in back of where she was, or the back of her head would have smaked the glass-over-wood-topped counsel table that was positioned behind her.  Once she fell backward and no one in the courtroom went into an appropriate level of hysterics, she remained still and prone for a few moments, then began attempting to peek out of one eye to see what we were doing.  Of course an ambulance was called to check her out, but once it was ascertained that she was fine (and faking), the she still needed to use the phone to call in incarcerated to work.

A few years ago when I was in private practice, I represented a very sweet lady in a divorce.  Her soon-to-be ex-husband had consented, so she and I showed up at the courthouse to go through the required process for obtaining a default divorce.  As we sat in the courtroom awaiting our turn, my client looked around wide-eyed at the other people who were also waiting for their respective cases to be called, and asked if all of those people were there to get divorced.  I explained that a lot of them were, but some were likely there on other matters.  My client then remarked that maybe she should hang around in the lobby after we finished in the hope of meeting some newly eligible men.  This was before the ink was even on her divorce decree, much less before it was dry!! And I still chuckle to this day when I think of the judge’s face when, as he was signing the copies of her divorce decree, my client piped up out of nowhere and asked, “Judge, do you know anyone?”  He looked at me with a puzzled expression as I managed to somehow choke out, “Judge, nevermind”, and rapidly usher my client out of the courtroom without losing my composure and busting out laughing.  You just never know what people are going to do.

This week, I watched what looked to be a fifty-something year old woman standing in front of the judge having a case continued to another date.  The woman asked the judge a question, and as he is prohibited by law from giving her legal advice, he told her, “Now, I can’t answer that.”  Immediately following his words, she cocked one hip to the side, tilted her head, stuck her bottom lip out, and pouted to the Judge.  It didn’t do her a lick of good, and he somehow managed to refrain from commenting on it.  I thought I would crack up.  Here’s the thing: this was not a woman most would call attractive, or hot, or even really average.  She was kind of short and dumpy, and had features that suggested she might be depriving a well-deserving bridge of its troll.  That should not have been a factor in this situation, since the judge cannot advise the attractive any more than he can advise the unfortunate-looking, but I just cannot imagine when in her life that pouting routine successfully obtained whatever it was she was seeking with any degree of success. 

The attorney next to me in the line to appear in front of the judge and I were getting a kick out of her antics, however, and when he stepped up to call his case, he said he was going to try that pouting maneuver if he didn’t get his way.  Um, yeah… Good luck with that… I’ll just wait over here and watch.

Gosh, I hope the entertainment value never goes away.


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